some kinda pasta...thing

I made this. bitches.

1 1/2in ham steak, cut into 1 1/2 in cubes
1 onion, cut into half centimeter cubes
3 or 4 cloves garlic, depithed and minced
3 leaves radicchio or small cabbage
2 stalks well trimmed celery
1/2 cup dried ditalini
2 tbps olive oil
1/2 tbps butter
pepper, rosemary, sage to taste
1/2 tomatoe diced

cook the pasta, set aside. heat the oil and butter in a bigger pan with a good amount of pepper and the spices. add the onions. when the onions begin to go translucent add the garlic. after a minute or so add the ham and stir in, then let cook for a minute or two on a medium high heat. when the onions start to caramelize, stir for about a minute, then add the red cabbage and the celery. stir until the cabbage is well wilted then stir in the tomatoes and pasta. stir for a minute then serve hot, ideally with fresh grated parmigiana cheese. in a bowl. with a spoon. naked.

leftovers: the reckoning

everyone has their own favorite leftover recipe. undoubtedly most of you are wrong. here's two i did today.

turkey omelet.

when using up leftovers , and even in general, most people favor the white meat. this is an inexplicable, illogical choice. juicy white meat is a thing of joy, but it is as rare as the giant rat of Sumatra. when eating day old turkey the instances of juicy white meat shrink. this is why our glorious french god invented gravy and cranberries. this recipe is a thing you can do with white meat other than wishing it was dark meat.

2 tb turkey fat skimmed from stock, below.
3 eggs, beaten, with some  milk, maybe two tb, season with rosemary, thyme, garlic salt, pepper to taste
1/4 cup broccoli casserole, or a sane amount of gravy, nuked for like 30 seconds. i should probably do the recipe for the casserole first but i didn't cook it.
like a handful of white turkey meat in small chunks, also warmed up a bit.


preheat a big heavy pan, then melt the turkey fat into it. when it has heated to the point where water jumps when you sprinkle it in the pan, add the eggs and turn the heat down to medium. when the eggs start to form the shell, lay the casserole onto a less done part, then sprinkle on the turkey. fold over and let cooking complete, slide onto your plate.

turkey soup.

stock:
half an onion cut up roughly,
6 cloves of garlic
1 stripped turkey carcass
drippings from the turkey not used in gravy or pot pie. maybe like a quart or two, including some veggie stock and some wine.

soup:
half a bag of pearl onions, maybe like 10 or 15
4 white mushrooms
4 crimini mushrooms
a head of garlic
like 2 cups of small chunks of white turkey meat
2 potatoes cut up to half in pieces
the heart of a celery bunch and 2 stalks of celery
2 bay leaves
half a bunch of fresh dill
rosemary, thyme, parsley, pepper
1 c of some kind of small pasta

to make the stock:
strip the carcass. cut up the onion and take the piths out of the garlic. trow into a large pot with the turkey renderings and the carcass, and turn on the heat to high. when it starts to boil fill the pot with water. boil for  a few hours. go watch a movie or something i don't care. when it has reduced by an inch or two, strain off the carcass and the veggies and discard. return the stock to the pot and let cool, then skim off the fat into a container. save and use instead of butter when cooking.

soup, there it is:
peel the pearl onions and the garlic. cut the garlic in half to depith. trow into a big stock pot with maybe a half cup of olive oil and turn on a medium high heat. cut up the mushrooms into sixths, cut the celery into 1cm disks. throw in with the onions etc. stir a lot. throw in the cut up potatoes. start adding the stock. throw in the turkey meat and the spices to taste. cut up the dill and throw that in throw in the rest of the stock and fill the pot with water, simmer until reduced by an inch. taste that shit and see if its good. throw in the pasta. when its done eat it, ideally with a salad because lets be honest, you haven't had anything fresh in days and you are starting to smell of death.

whisking like a mofo

thanksgiving leftovers extraordinaire: turkey pot pie.

reserve 2 cups of drippings, stock, and wine from yesterday.
2 stalks of celery, cut small
2 potatoes, cut medium sized
like 8 smashed garlic cloves
6 mushrooms cut into like 6?
two handfuls of leftover turkey
half an onion
1/4 cup flour, packed
1/4 cup butter
pepper to taste
your favorite pie crust and topping

first make roux.

preheat oven to 425

melt the butter in saucie over a medium heat. when it starts to steam add the flour and start whisking. whisk. WHISK! you will eventually smell the smell you smell when you make kraft mac and cheese. keep whisking and cooking for a while. let the roux start taking on a light brownish color, and start smelling a more nutty flavor. take it off the heat. intermittently keep whisking it while you do all this other stuff to keep the fats and flour together.

basically boil all the veggies in the reserved drippings etc. if you want to do this right, brown the onions and garlic and mushrooms in a pan first but fuck it, im hungry. moving on.

by now the roux should be getting toward room temperature. add a bunch of black pepper to the broth. add the turkey to the broth. turn off the heat, and stir in until the boiling stops. get the roux into the broth using a rubber spatula. stir in until everything tightens.

here's how you should do the crust: seperate.  i cooked everything together. this was an error. still tasty. not a critical one. i was hungry. shut up. you whore.

get your favorite pie crust. put it into a tin or glass pie thingy. poke with fork, or weigh with beans in tin foil. bake for like ten minutes max. when its done, fill with the filling. now top with more crust, or use biscuits. bake until its done, probably ten more minutes.

serve that shit. eat it and love me. LOVE ME FOR THE DELICIOUS FOOD.

thanksgiving food

my wife apparent and i did thanksgiving with her grandmother this year. her grandmother is a classy lady and we collaborated on the food.

turkey

someday soon i will brine a turkey but there wasnt time this year. we just rinsed the turkey and stuffed it and put it on 250 the night before, at like 2:00pm she turned up the heat and pulled it out at 2.30. this worked pretty well but we had to reheat it at like 6  which made the skin a bit tough, but it was still crunchy so i was happy. we must have gotten like two quarts of liquid out of it which was way too much for gravy so we'll be making soup tomorrow. be that as it may, the gravy was amazing.

i based this on alton browns gravy recipe, but he dosen't give these measurements, or many measurements at all. thus my rewrite. one word about wine. when you cook with wine the quality of the wine is important. we used a shitty rose, and it was pretty good, but a nice red would probably have been nicer. the other thing is in alton brown's recipe he uses all the liquid from the turkey. as i noted, there was way too much, so i think very little of the wine ended up in the gravy. when you do it, try to keep the deglaze liquid seperate and then add equal parts deglaze liquid and drippings liquid.

1/3c flour
turkey drippings
1c red wine
2c broth

take turkey out of pan, pour out liquid into a container. let it separate. if you have a fat separator, pour off 1/3c of it. if not let it settle and skim off the same amount. now put the roasting pan back on the stove on medium heat and add wine and stock, then whisk until all the burney bits come loose. add into the drippings, or else put aside. not in the roasting pan or in a sauciee if you have one, add the skimmed fat over medium heat. add the flour slowly until it is all in, and just whisk likek a mofo. let the roux toast a bit until it reaches a color you like, then begin adding the drippings and the deglazing liquid. whisk it in slowly until the gravy is a good consistency. feel free to add salt pepper and herbs, but i thought itr was just a great, turkey bomb in my mouth as is.

carrots. dis grandmother hates carrots, and so does di, so they just basically steam or boil them and serve. i saw room for an improvement. i found this recipe and it was pretty good, though i think it might have been better toasted in the broiler a bit to add some channelization. ftw.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/orange-glazed-carrots/detail.aspx



Ingredients

2 bags carrots
1/4 cup orange juice
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons butter
1 pinch salt
Directions

Place carrots in a shallow saucepan, and cover with water. Boil until tender. Drain, and return carrots to pan.
Pour orange juice over carrots, and mix well. Simmer over medium heat for about 5 minutes. Stir in brown sugar, butter, and salt. Heat until butter and sugar melt.

i was put in charge of the sweet potatoes with marshmallows this year, as they didn't do it in previous years.  again, time was pressing, so i shamelessly ripped this off the internet. the only thing i did differently was that i used 2 tbps of eggnog instead of vanilla.

http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1850,146170-245195,00.html

SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE WITH
MARSHMALLOWS
8 average size sweet potatoes
1 tbsp. vanilla
3-5 tbsp. sugar (to taste)
1/2 stick butter
1/4 tsp. cinnamon to taste
1/4 - 1 tsp. nutmeg to taste
1/4 c. orange juice to taste
Marshmallows (lg. or miniature)
Cinnamon sugar (opt.)

Boil (or bake) sweet potatoes until done. Remove peeling from HOT POTATOES and mash well, removing all strings. Add all ingredients but marshmallows and cinnamon sugar; mix well. Spray or grease lightly Pyrex or Corning dish. Put a layer of potatoes, layer of marshmallows until filled. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar for added flavor. Bake about 350 degrees until HOT. Remove from oven and put marshmallows on top. Place again in oven to brown lightly. Serves 10 to 12.

Chicken Pot Pie

I LOVE chicken pot pie. for me it is a prime comfort food. It is pretty simple in principal but has a bunch of steps that can take a while. A key part is the crust. My mom makes the best crust, and I've been meaning to steal her recipe for a while. Yesterday I asked her about it, and it turns out shes been using the recipe from James Beard's American Cookery for years. So here's how I made chicken pot pie. I had a lot of filling left, u can use this as chicken soup base for later meals.

filling

2 tb olive oil

1/4 cup white wine or vermouth

1 chicken carcass (just the bones and skin and cartilage etc.)

2 large chicken breasts, chopped

2 stalks celery with leaves, sliced

1 medium onion, minced

2 shallots, minced

2 carrots, sliced smallish.

1 head broccoli, cut smallish

1 head of garlic, peeled and smashed and sliced.

1 cup flour

crust

2 cups sifted all purpose flour (I didn't have this in the house, I used 1 cup all purpose, and 1 cup bread four.)

1 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup butter

1/2 cup vegetable shortening

aprox 1/4 cup cold water

egg wash (optional)

1 egg

cup water

so start by stripping the carcass and simmering it in a pan or pot. I have this thing from La Crusette and no one can tel me what to call it. is is shallower than a standard stock pot but deeper than a skillet. At any rate it was deep enough for the chicken and mom simmered that thing ion there for like 12 hours. it was good and chicken-y.

So now make the crust. Put the flour and salt in a bowl. I used Kosher salt, and this was an error, though it did make the crust crunchy. Use table salt for this one. fr rilsies. Next blend in the fatts. I did it the fork method, which takes a lot of wrist strength. I used to make short work of this but I was hurting last night. some might suggest since I have been seeing my gal saturday I may not have been exercising my wrist as much. That would be a shameful suggestion. Shameful.

You can also use a pastry blender or two knives. 

After you are done with the blending the particles should be roughly pea sized. now get the water and add it in a little at a time, stirring it in in-between. When you are done the dough will still be crumbly and wafery and not look done. I ended up adding too much water. When you've added all the water, turn the dough out onto wax paper or tin foil and squeeze it together. If it holds together you are done. If not, maybe add some more water.

When the dough is done, divide the ball into two halves. Wrap one up and put it in the fridge. Put the other out onto a clean, floured surface. Flour a rolling pin, and roll the dough in flour. Roll out the dough until it is 1/4 in thick. Grease a pie tin. fold the dough into quarters, then unfold into the pan. A key thing is to not handle the dough too much. Human hand oil is bad for pastry dough. trim down the edges and put with the other dough ball. take some tin foil and place it in the uncooked crust, and then fill it with weights or uncooked black beans or uncooked rice. Preheat the oven to 400, and bake for 15 mins.

Strain the chicken stock into a stock pot and toss the carcass. In the pot you had simmered it, put some olive oil and fry the onions and the shallots until golden, then add the rest of the veggies. When they are starting to look a little cooked add the wine or vermouth. Stir in, then start adding the stock until it is just covering the veggies. Bring it to a simmer and add the chicken. Keep simmering. Add the cup of flour to a cup of water and stir until smooth, then add to the simmering mixture. Simmer for 20 or so minutes. 

By not the Pie crust should be done. Take out the tin foil and weights. Take the unused dough from the fridge and roll it out to 1/4 in thick. Ladle the filling into the cooked crust. As before, fold the uncooked dough into quarters, the unfold on top of the pie. Trim, then smash the edges down with a fork, and poke vents in the top. 

The oven should still be at 400. Place in the pie for 20 mins. Make the egg wash. After the 20 mins are up, brush the top of the pie with the wash, then bake another 10 mins, but check after 5.  

Eat that shit with a spoon.

heaven in my face

This may be the best thing I ever made.

continuing my tradition of cheating, I have shamelessly ripped off Alton brown's excellent guide for searing scallops. you basically cant go wrong. In my defense, it is less a recipe than a very basic guide. see here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/seared-scallops-recipe/index.html
i also kind of riffed on this white wine sauce: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1655,142187-240198,00.html

This has been one of those meals where I would not change a thing. so fucking good. there may be those who say i used too much butter. fuck you man. taste this then tell me that.

i suppose you could probably use margarine. if you must be a DICK about EVERYTHING. Seriously though, i think the success of this is down to the liberal use of quality butter, a very very nice wine, and the fact that if you served Alton Brown's seared scallops on my fucking dick then it would be the tastiest dick you ever ate.

11 big sea scallops
8ish shrimp? lets say a half pound, maybe a quarter.
brick of butter, i used this awesome butter fromt he local russian food store, i think krowka is the name and masto wiejskie is the russian words for whipped sweet butter.
cup of white wine, i used barklay classic savangion blanc
1 large onion, cut as small as you cam. minced would be good, but dont let me make you take out the food processor if you dont want to. i did cm squares.
4 large mushrooms cut into four slices and then cut in half.
1 zucchini cut into very thin discs then cut in half.
1 lb whole wheat rigatoni
5 scallions cut small.
1 tablespoon olive oil
salt
garlic

steam the shrimp, set aside

boil the pasta in generously salted water, strain and set aside

sear the scallops in 1 tb of the butter and the olive oil, per Alton brown's recipe. set aside, preferably with the shrimp.

in the same pan as the scallops, put in as much garlic as you want and the onions. let them start to take on some color, and throw in the mushrooms and the zucchini. stir fry them a little with a tb of butter, then add the wine when everything has started to wilt a bit. add 2 tb of butter, cover, and let simmer for 15 mins.

put the pasta in a bowl, put the shrimp and scallops in as well. when the sauce finishes simmering, throw it on. stir, and top with the scallions.

drink the wine, put the food in your face, be fucking merry. so goddamn good.

risotto

this is really a part 2 to the meatballs, because i used that broth for this. if you want to make risotto and not meatballs, you can make the broth from yesterday and blanch some chicken and pok in it, and then saute it with the mushroom mixture.

so this is based on a mushroom risotto rescipie by tylor florence. i feel i need to defend myself a bit here because i am feeling guilty. a bunch of the recipies i have used recently have been adaptations of work by others, this one somewhat slavishly. i usually do not work from rescipies, but i have been trying to push my cooking ability, and i have reached a point where doing things so my ideas come together requires learning how to make the food work for me on a chemical level.

risotto is a great case in point. though risottos often contain cheese, that is not really what makes them creamy, since the cheese used is parmesean, which has very low fat content. the creaminess of risotto comes from the starchy outer layers of the aborio rice cooking into the fatty broth. this creates a porridge consistency, much liek that found in oatmeal. for my money risotto ought to be in the poridge family, except it is not boiled in milk and so dosent count. I would say the italians found a way to acheive the porridge effect with less work and much less time.

at any rate, when working with a chemical process preportions become important. when one is very familiar with the components one can usually guess and get the prepotions right, but if one has not done a particular reaction before, instructions are usually a good way to go.

so, my adapted version of the tyler florence mushroom risotto. the origional can be seen here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/mushroom-risotto-recipe/index.html

4 cups broth from meatballs
2-3 leek greens

olive oil
1 onion, diced, seperated into 2 piles
garlic cloves, minced
whatever mushrooms you have on hand
2 bay leaves
dried thyme
dried parsley
2 tablespoons butter
Salt and pepper
2 cups Arborio rice
1/2 cup dry vermouth
1/2 cup grated low fat chedder
4 well bbqed keilbasa

place broth in a pot and put on a medium heat. using a slotted spoon or a skimmer, fish out all the chunks of king oyster mushroom, be sure to drain all the stock back into the pot, put aside. clean the leek greens, rouoghly chop, put into the broth. the rescipie calls for 8 cups broth, we only have 4 left from the meatballs. so addinig the leek greens will help us grow this into 8. simmer, and add 4 cups of water. after ten minutes adjust the salt and pepper.

meanwhile, take the oyster mushroom chunks. cut them down so no chunk is bigger than a centemeter or so.

Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add 1/2 onion and 1 clove garlic, cook, stirring, until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add the oyster mushrooms, herbs and butter. Saute for 3 to 5 minutes until lightly browned, season with salt and pepper. Drizzle in annother tablespoon of oil if it starts to get dry, then add whatever mushrooms you have on hand. i had maybe 1/4 cup of sliced normal mushrooms from the store that needed to get used up. Season again with salt and pepper. Saute 1 minute then remove from heat and set aside.

Coat a saucepan with 2 tablespoons of oil. Saute the remaining 1/2 onion and garlic clove. Add the rice and stir quickly until it is well-coated and opaque, 1 minute. This step cooks the starchy coating and prevents the grains from sticking. Stir in vermouth and cook until it is nearly all evaporated.

Now, with a ladle, add 1 cup of the warm broth and cook, stirring, until the rice has absorbed the liquid. Add the remaining broth, 1 cup at a time. Continue to cook and stir, allowing the rice to absorb each addition of broth before adding more. The risotto should be slightly firm and creamy, not mushy. Transfer the mushrooms to the rice mixture. Stir in Parmesan cheese, cook briefly until melted.
this part will be hard. i have a local pork farmer who has a stand at the local farmers market. he makes the best frikkin keilbasa, it rules on the grill. i had bbqed it up the previous day, but was too full to eat it. i cubed them by cutting them into four strips, then slicing into centemeter cubes such that each peice has some nice, crunchy casings. as the risotto finishes up, toss in the keilbasa chunks.

if the risotto isnt quite done to your liking, you can add more water, a bit at a time, to get the rice more tender.

eat that shit with a spoon, it goes great with some franks.

put my balls in your mouth

so meat balls. there are a dozen ways to do them, i kinda mixed two and it was alright. used alton brown's take on sweedish meatballs as a baseline but i like my balls simmered in a stock to add flavor. i think it worked out ok, but simmered meat needs a sauce because it can dissolve the fats, and the gravy i made from this was just alright. ON THE OTHER HAND, the stock that resulted from this made an awesome risotto. if my lunch break has time i will post both.

so meatballs

ground chicken

ground pork

three king oyster mushrooms

clementines

manishevets blackberry wine

2 slices wheat bread

an onion

1/4 cup milk

• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 egg yokes
• bread crumbs and corn meal
• penis in yo face
• 2 bottles ipa
• some flour
• 
  
• get a big honkin pot
• cut the mushrooms into good bite size chunks and throw them in there with some butter, half the onion, and garlic.
• saute that shit till browning happens. when it does, throw in the beer, squeeze in a few clementines, add a good half cup to a cup of the wine, and top it up with water after it starts to boil. i had a lot of trouble getting a good, flavorful broth here. if id thought about it i probably would have tried to use the ve-gan stock from the other day, but i didnt have leeks in the house, so fuck me. anyway, anything you can think of that would go well, add it. i think this actually worked pretty well at the end of the day. simmer it for a good 20 mins, then add some pepper to taste, and a decent amount of salt. my trick is to keep adding salt until all the flavors start to pop. most stocks go for the seawater rule, but i think thats kind of overkill. leave simmering.
• 
  
• rip up the bread and soak it in the milk
• saute the other half onion till its softish, like the democrats on foreign policy
• in a big fucking bowl put the meats, the onion, the egg yolks, the bread mixture, the spices, then mix that shit together. if you have a stand mixer, now would be a good time to bring that out. if not, use a spoon, or get in there with your hands. just up to your elbows in fucking meat.
• 
  
• when everything is mixed well, its time to cook this shit. be sure you have a slotted spoon or frying skimmer handy.
• form the balls into like two inch rounds. you can make them smaller, but this is what i did. as each ball is formed, just gently float it into the stock. when it starts to get a bit crowded in the pot, stop making balls, and wait like five minutes.
• 
  
• here is where i ran into real trouble.
• my balls were still a bit raw when i first pulled them out, so i put them on a cookie sheet. i had to do a few batches to fill the cookie sheet, by which time the first batch had finished cooking internally whilst resting. still, i didn't really have a sauce prepared, so i decided to roast them a bit to get some gravy. this is kind of ass backwards in retrospect. really what i did was roast out he juice from the balls, make them into a sauce, and put them back on top. this is silly. fucking silly. just plain dumb. i should have just made a separate sauce. alas.
• 
  
• so once i had them on the pan, i sprinkled them with the breadcrumbs and corn meal, then roaste them for maybe five minutes under the broiler. pulled them out, transferred the balls to a plate, put the pan on the stove, and opened a beer. using a ladle i splashed some of the broth into the pan, and then a little manichevetz and maybe a quarter cup of my beer. the rest i drank.
• 
  
• using a spatula i deglazed the pan, then i added some pepper, and started sprinkling flower in. gravy is basically a roux, and like with roux you need to let the mixture toast to get rid of the bready flavor. so just let it simmer a bit until it cooks down to a thick paste, but keep it moving with a spatula so it dosent stick. when it starts to stick and/ or changes color, add more broth. then let it cook down a bit, then add more broth, keep doing this till you have a fair amount of gravy at a good consistency. put in a bowl. drink it with a straw.
• 
  
• so that's quite a bit actually! I'll talk about he risotto tommorow.

meatloaf!

meatloaf. when it is not done well and you are not in the mood meatloaf can be completely gross. when well made and you want it, then you fucking WANT IT. SEX JOKE OF SOME KIND.

this is vaguely based on something I saw on Diners Drive Ins and Dives. but not very well. I used a blend of pork, turkey, and beef for this. Basically cos i saw it on the show. This has advantages, but means you cannot have it rare in the center, which is the preference of my special lady friend. personally I had never seen rare meatloaf before, so take that for what its worth.

cooking the way i am going to describe has the advantage of a great, all around crust, lots of drippings for gravy, but will dry out the meat. so this is good for great sandwich meatloaf, but if you are in the mood for classic meatloaf maybe stick to a loaf pan.

1 package each of ground beef, turkey, pork.
1 onion
garlic
4-5 mushrooms
1-2 carrots
celery with a lot of leafy bits
breadcrumbs
cornmeal
worchestershire sauce
honey
1 bottle IPA (thanks rob)
flour
1 egg

so clean the veggies, and toss them in the food processor and cut the shit out of them. toss them in a big mixing bowl with the meat and the egg. alton brown advises not squeezing the meat, but i didnt see that eppisode yet so i dont know why. i tried to just carefully fold everything together. if you have a stand mixer this will be easier. I do not own one.

*weeps in the corner*

mix equal parts bread crumbs, corn meal, and salt and pepper to taste.

when well blended, place meat into a loaf pan, coat the top with the breadcrumb mixture. then turn out onto a cookie sheet that has been nonsticked in some way. I was advised to use parchment, which worked on in terms of nonsticking the meat, but then i had this big peice of parchement floating in my gravy drippins. no im not in love with it, but i havent tried oiling yet so i cant attest to how well it works.

oh you should probably preheat to 350 or so.

anyway, i ended up not being able to get all my meat in the loaf pan, so after i turned it out i packed the leavings towards one end then tried to kind of cinch it onto the main loaf. this didnt work overly well.

once the loaf is on the pan, sprinkle the breadcrumbs all over the loaf. tilt the pan to get it on the sides if you need to, but try not to roll the loaf. it should be fine. once it is coated, drizzle the top with whorcestershire sauce and honey. the more honey you use the more carmelization you'll get, so dont be shy.

my rescipie said to bake for an hour, but i had to do an hour and a half or so. cince this has poultry in it, you'll want the internal temp to reach 160. if you have a reliable probe thermometer, use that. mine was kind of crap. I may have left it in too long since i was not pleased with my thermometers. if you are pretty sure it is at 160 you can maybe pull it out and let it rest, since the internal temp will continue to rise and finish cooking any remaining pinkness. this might avoid drying it out.

once it is out, move the loaf to a serving diosh and let it rest. take your baking sheet to the stove. if you have two burners that can be joined use them, this is where they shine. put the pan on the stove top, add flour a bit at a time to thicken the gravy. when it starts all sizzling like a pancake, let it toast a bit, then add the beer. i like peppery gravy, the time for that is now.

serve to your family, or eat it alone and muse on the fact that you made enough food to feed a somali villiage for a month.

how fun is this posting two days in a row shit? firewall is down at work, so i can do this now. sweeet.

tomatoless veggie broth

Back when my fiance friday was one of them vee-gans i would have problems when I made soup. My problem was that both of us love soup, so I liked making it, but the veggie stocks on the market were unacceptable for most recipes. It wasn't really a flavor issue, in most recipes chicken stock and veggie stock are basically equivalent since all you really want from stock is richness and salt content, and usually just the salt. the issue was that most commercial stocks use tomatoes as a shortcut to flavor.

Now, I like tomatoes, and I even like tomato soup, but I do not like tomato in everything and my way hetero lady-friend is allergic to cooked tomatoes. Even were she not, the tang of tomato is no replacement for the richness of chicken. This ubiquitous use of the reddest member of the nightshade family kind of makes me want to go on a rant about the homogenization of american culture. there are many, many good veggies out there. none are available as the base of a stock. could i get a mushroom stock up in here maybe? or celery! celery is nice, and it is in fact what differentiates boiled chicken water from chicken soup (along with salt and your mother's love, which they bottle now). So i set out to create a good, veg-an stock that wouldn't taste like a lemon or kill anyone I am fond of.

I failed pretty badly.

again, not because there aren't great veggies out there! but concocting a perfect stock from numerous ingredients is very tricky. I had a couple minor successes but nothing that was perfect or even got near that term, until this weekend.

Yes this weekend, after years of effort, I stumbled on the perfect veggie stock, completely by mistake, as a side dish, and whilst barely paying attention. I also fucked up the dish it went into for other reasons, so that was fun. also? My wife-of-the-future is no longer fueled only by vegetables, and has been enjoying real chicken stock for several years now quite happily. so fuck.

anyway, here it is. it is absurdly simple, just go easy on the pepper.

the green parts of 2 leeks

3-4 cabbage leaves

handful or so of spinach

a bunch of water?

salt and pepper to taste

getcha self a big old pot (not like a stock pot. pasta pot? a big one) and fill with water. toss in the leeks and simmer for a half hour or so. cut up the cabbage to bite size pieces, throw that in there. simmer for fifteen or so. throw in the spinach. simmer a bit. be generous with the salt if you are going to use this to flavor other things. be careful with the pepper. i kind of overdid it.

and that's about it. for a richer broth, brown the cabbage and an onion in a few tablespoons of butter, if you don't mind dairy. As you enjoy the broth, contemplate the HOURS. you spent building the broth for that vegan matzo ball soup that FAILED.

FAILED.